When she has a couple of hours to herself

After dropping James off at MDO (mother’s day out), I went back home to have a cuppa joe and ponder what to do with the precious few hours to myself. I decided that since my mom and sister are due to arrive later this evening, I should clean the floors of debris, dust and dog fur, so as not to appear as an unfit lazy house frau. So I sat on the couch and drank my coffee and flipped channels for a while to gain the energy to sweep, dust and vacuum. After I watched some trash TV, I switched it off and tossed out the wild dogs and swept the floors. Feeling pretty accomplished, I organized the toys, which is a futile and thankless chore, but I found myself feeling much better after I was done. Then I dusted the furniture which made me feel really productive. Unfortunately if all came to a nasty end once I got out the vacuum cleaner. You see, my cleaning lady uses it sometimes, and she just doesn’t care for it the way I do. It needs special love and attention; it is high maintenance. I have neglected it since Maria has been cleaning for me. I emptied out the dust canister thinking that would help, but I knew that wouldn’t be enough. I made a vain attempt to vacuum the living room rugs, fruitlessly going back and forth over the same tuft of fur over and over. Then I had to do it, I took apart my high maintenance vacuum cleaner. I washed the canister and other filter parts in the kitchen sink in a warm bath of soapy water. Then I produced an old toothbrush and scrubbed out the crusted dust and fur from the sweeper brush and trimmed the hairs and strings wrapped around it with a small pair of scissors. I rinsed out the inner parts and gently laid them out to dry on the counter top. I wiped off the rest of the vacuum with a damp towel and set it aside to rest. I essentially gave my vacuum cleaner a spa day. So much for my free time.

When her husband is in Combat Training preparing for TDY in Afghanistan

I am certain there are things I have failed to list, however I will update as time permits.  Please don't hold your breath.

1. Go on a “not cooking anything remotely healthy for dinner strike” to include macaroni n’ cheese, alphabet soup, pancakes, Sonic and Little Caesars pizza.
2. Make a huge list of things to get done and take 3 days to accomplish the first task
3. Avoid to do list by going shopping for things you really need, like a new toilet seat cover, curtains for son’s room, dog beds etc.
4. Oh yeah, play with son.  Teach him how to play games like Old Maid (because you are feeling like one) and Connect Four, etc.
5. Feel fabulous once completed the monumental feat of having showered, shaved legs and dried and styled hair like the guy at the salon did.
6. Rearrange everything in the house so that when the husband finally comes home, he won’t know where anything is
7. Welcome sleep, even if it means having a five-year-old boy and a large needy dog in bed too.
8. Count the days until Mother and Sister arrive so you can finally get drunk guilt-free
9. Put pictures of husband up everywhere
10. Realize there are no good pictures of the family together, especially ones you don’t look fat in
11. Try to get on a TV show where a professional dog trainer can come to the house and help with the 3 chaotic dogs
12. Avoid answering phone calls from mother-in-law
13. Avoid giving in-laws the Skype address so you can post-pone the inevitable “trying to video-phone” technical disaster
14. Forget absolutely everything important to tell husband when he calls because your just so happy to be talking to him
15. Comfort the boy and the dogs as much as possible
16. Keep the Prozac prescription current