when her dogs decide to play with a bird

This morning I am a bit hungover, as I decided to drink a lot of wine on July 4th because it is Brian's birthday and he is in Afghanistan. So, with that said I was not quite up to par, especially to chase to dogs around the backyard first thing in the morning. I opened the back door to let them out for the morning pee, and I see a big black grackle bird. I thought that the bird would fly away once the door opened, but birds being small minded creatures, this one decided to merely hop away a couple of feet around the corner of the garage. (Side note: Darby is a retriever breed, Henry is a mutt breed, with some retriever sprinkled in.) In the second it took for me to open the door, Darby bolts out around the corner, Henry is hesitating as he usually does, and as I am trying to coax Henry out the door, Darby comes back bouncing proudly with the grackle in his mouth. I have seen this before; Darby instinctively has a soft grip on the bird and will drop it if I tell him too, pure mechanics as he won't do anything else I ever ask him to do. So I am telling Darby to "DROP IT" and Henry bursts out, grabs the bird, and now Darby is chasing him around the yard. Keep Away is the dogs favorite game and it is "on." I am yelling "Henry DROP IT," with no effect, because I never insisted that Henry actually go through the PetSmart training course. Now James is outside, "Mom, what does Henry have in his mouth? is that a bird?" I have cornered Henry and proceed to pry his mouth open, trying to avoid actually touching the bird, and the bird drops out and feebly hops away, then Darby gets him. I say "DROP IT," he drops it, Henry gets it. This goes on about three more times; chase, me prying open Henry's death grip, Darby grabs, chase, "DROP IT," etc. James is on the steps watching this, making comments like "Mom I think Henry likes the bird. I think he is going to marry that bird." Finally I realize that I am getting nowhere, so I get Darby and James inside, then let Henry play with the bird. As I pour James a bowl of Lucky Charms, I decide that perhaps feeding the dogs will distract them away from the bird. It works, as it always does. I let my coffee cool on the counter, and with the dogs and James inside enjoying their breakfast, I go out and with a small shovel, toss the stupid bird over the fence.

Just a little hiking...

My boy running the trail at Govt. Canyon.

….when her husband is deployed, early even.

NOTE: see also "...when her husband is at combat training"

I was sitting at the gate trying my best not to cry and waiting to watch the plane take off because James insisted we do so, when a nice older gentleman comes up and says he noticed me and my husband saying goodbye. He told me he was a pastor at a local church, then asked if I wouldn’t mind if he prayed for me. I said sure, like any non-church-attending person, who doesn’t want to appear rude would say, thinking “how nice, he’s gonna pray for me at church on Sunday.” Then he put his hand on top of my head and started praying right there. So I lost my hard won composure and the tears flowed and James looked at the pastor like “what is this guy doing with his hand on my mom’s head” so I hugged James so he wouldn’t say anything rude. The pastor finished and I thanked him meekly. I had to laugh once he got through the gate because I know how ridiculous Brian would have thought that was. Then I hoped he would try to pray over Brian in the plane and cause him as much awkwardness as I had just experienced. What can I say, I have been through a lot of different emotions in the last week.

So I am still trying to get over my resentment towards the Air Force for making him leave eleven days early, but I guess I should just move on and deal with the task at hand: keeping myself from yelling at James, feeding the dogs and getting back to my routine. (pause in typing)
I just talked James into jumping on his bed as opposed to jumping on the stairs. Anything for a few more moments of peace.

So my mother is here and she is great at cooking and making me dinner. Tonight is taco night! So I will probably gain about 20 more pounds before Brian returns. Great!

More once the routine gets easier….probably never.

When she has a couple of hours to herself

After dropping James off at MDO (mother’s day out), I went back home to have a cuppa joe and ponder what to do with the precious few hours to myself. I decided that since my mom and sister are due to arrive later this evening, I should clean the floors of debris, dust and dog fur, so as not to appear as an unfit lazy house frau. So I sat on the couch and drank my coffee and flipped channels for a while to gain the energy to sweep, dust and vacuum. After I watched some trash TV, I switched it off and tossed out the wild dogs and swept the floors. Feeling pretty accomplished, I organized the toys, which is a futile and thankless chore, but I found myself feeling much better after I was done. Then I dusted the furniture which made me feel really productive. Unfortunately if all came to a nasty end once I got out the vacuum cleaner. You see, my cleaning lady uses it sometimes, and she just doesn’t care for it the way I do. It needs special love and attention; it is high maintenance. I have neglected it since Maria has been cleaning for me. I emptied out the dust canister thinking that would help, but I knew that wouldn’t be enough. I made a vain attempt to vacuum the living room rugs, fruitlessly going back and forth over the same tuft of fur over and over. Then I had to do it, I took apart my high maintenance vacuum cleaner. I washed the canister and other filter parts in the kitchen sink in a warm bath of soapy water. Then I produced an old toothbrush and scrubbed out the crusted dust and fur from the sweeper brush and trimmed the hairs and strings wrapped around it with a small pair of scissors. I rinsed out the inner parts and gently laid them out to dry on the counter top. I wiped off the rest of the vacuum with a damp towel and set it aside to rest. I essentially gave my vacuum cleaner a spa day. So much for my free time.

When her husband is in Combat Training preparing for TDY in Afghanistan

I am certain there are things I have failed to list, however I will update as time permits.  Please don't hold your breath.

1. Go on a “not cooking anything remotely healthy for dinner strike” to include macaroni n’ cheese, alphabet soup, pancakes, Sonic and Little Caesars pizza.
2. Make a huge list of things to get done and take 3 days to accomplish the first task
3. Avoid to do list by going shopping for things you really need, like a new toilet seat cover, curtains for son’s room, dog beds etc.
4. Oh yeah, play with son.  Teach him how to play games like Old Maid (because you are feeling like one) and Connect Four, etc.
5. Feel fabulous once completed the monumental feat of having showered, shaved legs and dried and styled hair like the guy at the salon did.
6. Rearrange everything in the house so that when the husband finally comes home, he won’t know where anything is
7. Welcome sleep, even if it means having a five-year-old boy and a large needy dog in bed too.
8. Count the days until Mother and Sister arrive so you can finally get drunk guilt-free
9. Put pictures of husband up everywhere
10. Realize there are no good pictures of the family together, especially ones you don’t look fat in
11. Try to get on a TV show where a professional dog trainer can come to the house and help with the 3 chaotic dogs
12. Avoid answering phone calls from mother-in-law
13. Avoid giving in-laws the Skype address so you can post-pone the inevitable “trying to video-phone” technical disaster
14. Forget absolutely everything important to tell husband when he calls because your just so happy to be talking to him
15. Comfort the boy and the dogs as much as possible
16. Keep the Prozac prescription current