I am certain there are things I have failed to list, however I will update as time permits. Please don't hold your breath.
- Go on a “not cooking anything remotely healthy for dinner strike” to include macaroni n’ cheese, alphabet soup, pancakes, Sonic and Little Caesars pizza.
- Make a huge list of things to get done and take 3 days to accomplish the first task
- Avoid to do list by going shopping for things you really need, like a new toilet seat cover, curtains for son’s room, dog beds etc.
- Oh yeah, play with son. Teach him how to play games like Old Maid (because you are feeling like one) and Connect Four, etc.
- Feel fabulous once completed the monumental feat of having showered, shaved legs and dried and styled hair like the guy at the salon did.
- Rearrange everything in the house so that when the husband finally comes home, he won’t know where anything is
- Welcome sleep, even if it means having a five-year-old boy and a large needy dog in bed too.
- Count the days until Mother and Sister arrive so you can finally get drunk guilt-free
- Put pictures of husband up everywhere
- Realize there are no good pictures of the family together, especially ones you don’t look fat in
- Try to get on a TV show where a professional dog trainer can come to the house and help with the 3 chaotic dogs
- Avoid answering phone calls from mother-in-law
- Avoid giving in-laws the Skype address so you can post-pone the inevitable “trying to video-phone” technical disaster
- Forget absolutely everything important to tell husband when he calls because your just so happy to be talking to him
- Comfort the boy and the dogs as much as possible
- Keep the Prozac prescription current
